Cracked

Cracked’s latest Disney parody is half smart takedown of the plot holes in Beauty And The Beast, half misogynistic assertion that the thing that ruins relationships are women, amiright?

In this vision of the not-so-happily ever after that follows the film’s climax, the Beast is now a pretty decent “no name” human prince trying to run his kingdom after spending 10 years as a defunct ruler. Belle, meanwhile, has grown bored with her new “provincial” life and wants the Beast to put some magic back into their relationship. That means the intelligent, brave character from the movie is now a shrill, nagging woman who is entirely unable to comprehend why her husband needs to sometimes do work to run a kingdom.

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One would think the easiest comedic angle to take on this material is the way the Beast basically Stockholm Syndrome’d Belle into loving him, but, hey, “women suck” works too.

Still the parody gets major points for highlighting a little discussed concern about the 1991 film: If the movie starts when the Beast is about to turn 21 and he has been cursed for 10 years, that means he was only an 11 year old boy when he was horrifically punished for rudeness by being turned into an animalistic monster, which seems pretty harsh. Plus, the video’s great last line might be reason enough for this whole thing to exist.

However, it loses some points for wringing laughs out of the notion that it was creepy that Belle kissed the Beast to turn him into a human, when any true Beauty And The Beast aficionado knows that never happened (she just whispers “I love you” over his fallen body). Plus, you know, there’s the whole misogynistic streak.

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