Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

This battery commercial is the worst Die Hard sequel yet

Illustration for article titled This battery commercial is the worst iDie Hard /isequel yet
Screenshot: Advance Auto Parts

The money people need to leave Die Hard alone. What started as a perfectly good trilogy of action movies has now become a series as tired, battered, and bloody as a last act John McClane. And yet, even after dragging the character through the broken glass of Live Free Or Die Hard and A Good Day To Die Hard, McLane is set to return (pre-turn?) with a not-so-great-sounding prequel movie and, if that wasn’t enough, has now been put to work selling car batteries.

After Bruce Willis’ daughter Rumer teased what looked like a new movie yesterday, the world instead yakked up a commercial for DieHard batteries . The ad is titled, “DIEHARD IS BACK|2:00 Film” in an effort, we suppose, to twist the knife by claiming that the car parts ad is a celebration-worthy revival and, worse, a “film.”

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The commercial/new installment follows McClane not being able to start his car, running into a bunch of well-armed goons in a deserted town, and being assured that “we have free installation” after he grabs a DieHard branded battery from an auto shop. He crawls through vents, brains a dude with his car battery, and whips a grenade into a Humvee. The only real consolation is that Clarence Gilyard’s Theo and De’voreaux White’s Argyle both show up, though we’re sadly denied Argyle arriving to the tune of “Christmas In Hollis.”

Since who knows what McClane will get up to in future films, this commercial may not hold the illustrious title of “Worst Die Hard sequel” for long. Still, for today at least, it, nestled close to a line of Die Hard branded Funko Pops, has earned a spot in the crass, brand-leasing infamy hall of fame .

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Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.

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