Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

This baby Joe Pesci wants to make sure you "stay the fuck inside"

Baby Joe Pesci
Baby Joe Pesci
Screenshot: Twitter

With the Tri-State area blanketed with snow this weekend, it’s understandable that many people are bummed about being stuck inside. The reason it’s a good idea to be inside is actually two-fold, given the still-raging pandemic, but that doesn’t make it any easier to accept the reality of being confined within the four walls of a tiny apartment you share with four roommates you barely knew before the world went topsy-turvey. And you’re not alone in your frustration.

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Snarkmaster Joel McHale has found a youngster who can speak for us all: “Behold a masterpiece,” the Card Sharks host (yes, that’s a show again) posted on Twitter Thursday with a video of a particularly articulate child. “I don’t know who this kid is or who posted it. My friend sent it to me and sent it was posted somewhere(thanks friend) so whomever this is I would love to give them credit or tell me to take it down. This kid is my hero. Enjoy the delightful profanity.”

The video starts off with a woman (we’re assuming it’s a woman) trying to comfort her son (we’re assuming it’s her son) about being stuck inside due to the the weather (we’re assuming this was filmed recently). “Next weekend it’s gonna be so nice—like 60, 65 [degrees], like that. We could sit outside, on the porch,” she tells the kid. “No. The lockdown,” he responds, then revealing he is not a child but actually My Cousin Vinny and Goodfellas star Joe Pesci in some sort of Benjamin Button or Snapchat filter situation. “A lockdown is when you stay the fuck inside, not the fuck outside. Do you know what a lockdown is?”

The 1:14 video continues on from there, the kid going on to ask “do you hear the news?” A particularly fun moment is around :24 when the kid is so exasperated that he just throws his hands up in the air and shakes his head like the grumpy old man he truly is.

We’re assuming this was all a bit of a staged moment, given the kid trying to hide his laughter at the very end, but it’s still nice to have someone who speaks for the masses.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

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A.V. Club Editor in Chief...but really just a She-Ra, Schitt’s Creek, Grey’s Anatomy, Survivor, Big Brother, Top Chef, The Good Place superfan.