Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Look at all these fucking Chrises!
Photo: Left: Stuart C. Wilson (Getty Images), Middle: Pascal Le Segretain (Getty Images), Right: Jamie McCarthy (Getty Images)

[Warning: Spoilers for Avengers: Infinity War below.]

We are drowning in hot, famous Chrises, many of which we can see sharing the screen together in Marvel’s Avengers: Infinity War. Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Pratt, and Chris Pine are, in addition to being bona fide hunks, consistently charming both onscreen and off. This changed somewhat when Pratt’s Star-Lord emerged as the true villain of Infinity War, and it turns out his half-assed apology is landing as poorly with his co-stars as it is with audiences.


Evans, for example, took the moment to tweet out the below photo, which depicts his beloved dog dropping some piss on a fire hydrant dressed up as Star-Lord. “Property of Star-Lord: Dogs Beware” reads an accompanying sign, making the offense that much more flagrant.

“Happy birthday @prattprattpratt from me and this giver of zero fucks,” Evans wrote, leading Pratt to reply with those six words that universally serve to sever any relationship: “You’ll be hearing from my lawyer.”


As such, Pratt’s looking for love elsewhere in the Chris-verse. In a new video with Buzzfeed, Pratt sat down to take the site’s “Which Famous Chris Is Your Soulmate?” quiz and, in a very telling result, his match doesn’t even exist in the MCU, not that any of them would even have him, anyway.

Instead, Pratt finds himself paired with Chris Pine, who we just found out is returning to the DC universe after his Steve Trevor blew into bits at the end of Wonder Woman. “Well, hey, Chris, if you’re watching...I’ve got butterflies in my stomach ... but could we make this happen?” If so, the studios certainly won’t approve.


This is getting complicated.

Randall Colburn is The A.V. Club's Internet Culture Editor. He lives in Chicago, occasionally writes plays, and was a talking head in Best Worst Movie, the documentary about Troll 2.

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