Pokémon Go is ubiquitous. And now instead of just catching Pokémon, you can eat them, too. According to Mashable, the new Pokémon burgers from Down-N-Out, a restaurant run by Hashtag Burgers in Sydney, Australia, are “too freaking adorable to even eat.” But after one glance, we have come to a different conclusion: These fuckers are way too disturbing to eat. The so-called “Pokéburgers” come in three different varieties: Pikachu, Bulbasaur, and Charmander. Don’t let anyone fool you: They are neither cute nor do they look particularly appetizing. Wanting to eat Pokémon in the first place is kind of messed up. Pokémon are for collecting and training to fight each other. That’s way more chill than eating them.
But if you are in the down under and dare to try one of these horrors, just know that you won’t be able to actually choose which one you get. They’re given out at random, much like the supposed randomness of the game itself.
“The flavours and the ingredients match the Pokémon’s style, character and color. The Charmander is a little bit spicy, there’s kind of a volcanic cheese dripping off it,” Hashtag Burgers’ Ben Kagan told Mashable Australia. “The Bulbasaur is grassy and cleaner, but it tastes like a Big Mac actually—which is quite nice. The Pikachu is a bit sillier, with our ‘tiger fries’ through it.” He neglects to mention the piece of broccoli coming out of Bulbasaur’s head.
The “burgers” will be available in limited quantities through September 3, but they will haunt our nightmares for eternity.