Larry The Cat, Chief Mouser To The Cabinet Office, has done nothing wrong. Since his entry to British politics in 2011, adopted by former Prime Minister David Cameron’s staff to patrol 10 Downing Street, Larry has done his job (of being a cat) with grace, despite the mental anguish that surely accompanied having to serve two Conservative governments that have managed to do irreparable harm to their nation. In the British tradition, he has maintained a stiff upper lip (or, ‘cause he’s a cat, maybe a “stiff lower nose”) and carried out his job without complaint.
It’s good, then, that Larry The Cat was spared the indignities of having to stand alongside Theresa May as she announced her resignation as Prime Minister today.
Just before May’s speech, Larry was enjoying some good Friday vibes, patrolling outside his home as reporters gathered around him.
Luckily, Larry was removed from his perch before the resignation itself, scooped up by some 10 Downing Street staffer and, we assume, brought into the final stages of May’s pre-speech preparations for advice.
Though it’s great he was saved from having to be associated with May’s resignation, Larry’s removal might have been premature. With the world watching, could he have been preparing his own speech? Perhaps Larry, who has quietly observed so much over the years, had something to say that would’ve cleaned up nearly a decade of political tumult and offered a better path forward.
Instead, he was scooped up, brought inside, and missed his shot. Now the poor bastard has just got to wait around a few months and cross his paws along with the rest of us that his next boss isn’t Boris fucking Johnson.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to email@example.com