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There will be a Little House On The Prairie movie that may or may not involve rape by mimes

Much as the pioneers wasted no part of the animal, Sony Pictures has set to seeing what else might be mined from Little House On The Prairie, the Laura Ingalls Wilder children's book series that has already spawned a TV series and which now may be a feature film that is the franchising equivalent of frying up sheep testicles. David Gordon Green is currently attached to direct—a choice that might suggest this Little House would play its earnestness for postmodern laughs (perhaps with Danny McBride assuming Michael Landon's role and cracking some jokes about dysentery being a real bitch) were it not for Green working with screenwriter Abi Morgan. Her résumé to date includes the Meryl Streep-starring biography The Iron Lady and the Michael Fassbender's penis-starring Shame, which does not exactly suggest that she would be the one to revisit the heartwarming community spirit and gentle morality lessons of 19th-century American farm life. Unless, perhaps, the entire movie is going to be a feature-length version of that time Sylvia got raped by a mime. "Should we include the mime rape? Should we focus test that first?"—a conversation that is happening at Sony right now.

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