Screenshot: YouTube

The yodeling Walmart boy is pure concentrated country bliss in pint-sized form. After spur-jangling his way into the world’s heart through a short video that has now gone as viral as that good ol’ fashioned Spanish Flu, he has almost instantly become established in the firmament of the internet. It’s hard to remember a time when we ever lived without the oldest little boy ever captured on videotape.

Fortunately for all of us, the stiff-backed, boot-tapping country bar jukebox is well aware of just how potent his image has become. Recognizing that, in this moment, America needs to remember that the true heart of the nation is a small blond child singing his way to fame amidst the aisles of a corporate giant’s “Spill Clean-Up Section,” young Mason Ramsey has set up shop on social media.

Armed with guitars, cowboy hats, and belt buckles big enough to topple his miniature frame, Ramsey (who helpfully shares his aliases so we know who we’re listening to when an upcoming Future track features an appearance by “Lil’ Hank”) is ready for your retweets, likes, and sponsorship inquiries.

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His Twitter account, while focused mostly on sharing news stories reporting the down-home sensation, is also busy digging through the crates for rare material to fulfill new fans’ frothing demand for that hot new, old-fashioned elementary-aged country sound. For example, conveniently appended to the A-side of the Walmart video is the legend himself sharing another rendition of his Williams favorite from the inside of a shopping cart, as well as a behind-the-scenes shoot of Ramsey auditioning for the Grand Ole Opry in the white hat that marks him as a definite Good Guy.

These aren’t the happy old days when a man’s work could just speak for itself, though, and the internet has been taking Ramsey’s covers out for a spin of their own. While the pretenders try to capture even an ounce of the original’s magic by recreating the performance, others know you can’t improve on perfection and have remixed, instead, straight from the source.

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Even the best reinterpretations are still dwarfed by the slip-sliding, golden-throated stylings of Ramsey himself. It’s just a shame there isn’t more to listen to. Rest assured, though, now that the wheels of the yodelin’ Walmart boy industry are turning, the drought of our musical Dust Bowl is bound to come to an end. Bring the rain, child. We’re ready to hear its life-giving patter.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

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