Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

The White House maintains its refusal to act on Justin Bieber

Continuing the blatant inaction on irritating pop stars that has so characterized this administration, the White House has responded to a petition demanding the deportation of Justin Bieber by frustratingly refusing to weigh in one way or the other.  “Sorry to disappoint, but we won’t be commenting on this one” reads the official statement, before expending several paragraphs commenting on the need for immigration reform. However, it’s obvious any such reform won’t include an answer to the country’s Justin Bieber problem, and hence promises to under-serve those issues that the American people care most about—enough to spend 10 seconds clicking on an online petition.

The call to deport Bieber back to the wild anarchy of Canada, whose system of governance is based on hockey fights, came after incidents in which Bieber’s egg throwing and drag racing left some 270,000 people concerned for the cleanliness of America’s lawn and the reputation of Miami. That was enough to trigger an official response from the White House, which established its online petition system as a way of addressing all of America’s most pressing concerns about making the front page of Reddit. But it was not enough to get President Obama to take a stand, unless you count standing there and lecturing you about immigration.

The We the People terms of participation state that, “to avoid the appearance of improper influence, the White House may decline to address certain procurement, law enforcement, adjudicatory, or similar matters properly within the jurisdiction of federal departments or agencies, federal courts, or state and local government in its response to a petition.”

So we’ll leave it to others to comment on Mr. Bieber’s case, but we’re glad you care about immigration issues. Because our current system is broken. Too many employers game the system by hiring undocumented workers, and 11 million people are living in the shadows.


Despite its best, most haranguing efforts, the statement is not expected to stir an equally passionate public call for immigration reform, unless any of those employers are found to wear stupid saggy pants.

Share This Story