Last night, in an interview with MSNBC, professional bullshit-dispenser Kellyanne Conway introduced to the American public the “brand new information” that former president Barack Obama had somehow allowed a thing called the “Bowling Green massacre” to occur on his watch, and she shamed the lily-livered news media for not reporting it. Classic biased media! Further research has revealed that the media did not cover the Bowling Green massacre because it is not a thing that exists. (Two Iraqi nationals were, however, arrested in Bowling Green, Kentucky.) Much joking ensued, because when one sees bullshit one must call it.
The joking has continued with the new Bowling Green Massacre Fund, which stoically calls for fiscal support for those affected by the massacre. Using the melancholy stock art and “thoughts and prayers” copy that would accompany a real-life tragedy, the page calls for donations throughout the site—all of which lead directly to the ACLU’s donation page. The ACLU has raked in record-shattering donations since Trump announced the unconstitutional Muslim Ban that Conway was furiously, erroneously defending when she raised the fell specter of the Bowling Green massacre, but, if able, it’s always good to give more. And if you want something in return, Bandcamp is donating all their proceeds to the ACLU today. That’s truly a win-win, especially for a country still reeling from the massacre at Bowling Green, where (at current tally) zero people lost their lives.