The Wall Street Journal reports the official newspaper of the Papacy, L’Osservatore Romano, has released “a semiserious guide” to the 10 best rock albums ever, and notes the paper considers its picks perfect listening for anyone marooned on an island. Right now you’re thinking, “Great, the Vatican wants to strand me on an island with nothing but Charlotte Church and Pat Boone for company,” right? Yet surprisingly, the Vatican would rather you try out your moonwalk on a sandy beach by handing you an iPod loaded with Michael Jackson’s Thriller, Revolver by The Beatles (top spot), Pink Floyd’s Dark Side Of The Moon, and Supernatural by Santana.

What the Vatican is calling their “little handbook of musical resistance,” is rounded out with Oasis’ (What’s The Story) Morning Glory?, U2’s Achtung Baby, Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours, Donald Fagen’s The Nightfly, Paul Simon’s Graceland, and David Crosby’s If I Could Only Remember My Name. Also notable: while Bob Dylan may have been knocking on heaven’s door, he is surprisingly absent from the list due to the L’Osservatore Romano’s reasoning that Bob Dylan paved the way for tormented and soulful, but ultimately mediocre, singer-songwriters who have “harshly tested the ears and patience of listeners” by following in his footsteps. Frankly we’d like to punish the Vatican for choosing Santana’s Supernatural over their infinitely better 1970 album Abraxas. Maybe “Black Magic Woman” put them off?

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