Look, we get it: It’s probably not terribly easy being the social media team for the United States Marine Corps, an organization that is, even in the best of circumstances, a lot more likely to have its applicants be shot at than most any other career path you might hope to name. And god knows there are only so many times you can post videos of eagles flying around looking all majestic while stirring music plays in the background. Still, friends, folks, pard’ners: There’s a time and place for Super Smash Bros. memes, and it’s probably not this:
Apparently inspired—jealous?—of all the character debuts announced today for the upcoming Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, the USMC’s official Twitter account pumped out the above video, introducing its various Marine roles as though they were characters in the games. Because nothing makes us nostalgic for a cheerful, colorful Nintendo fighting game mash-up like watching young men load grenade launchers as thrash metal plays in the background. (That being said, if they’d managed to get “Mute City,” we might have been on board.)
If this was meant solely as a morale booster for existing troops—who famously play a lot of games in their downtime in an effort to blow off steam—we’d kind of get it. But it’s hard not to see it as a sales pitch, too, attempting to sell youngsters on the idea that armed combat is just another video game, complete with heroic roles for them to slot into. But what it seemingly fails to realize is that combat’s not fun; rather it’s the “Final Destination, No Items” of the real world, a merciless battleground where every opponent is playing for keeps, and inevitably ends up picking Fox.