Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

The Suspiria remake sounds gnarly as hell

Illustration for article titled The iSuspiria/i remake sounds gnarly as hellem/em
Photo: Alberto E. Rodriguez (Getty Images)

The producers of Amazon Studio’s upcoming remake of Suspiria treated critics and press to a tasteful little lunch today, as part of the studio’s planned presentation at this week’s CinemaCon in Vegas. The menu reportedly included many of the finer things in life: Quinoa salad. White chocolate tarts. Footage of a woman being brutally torn apart as part of some sort of grisly murder ballet.

Which is to say, Luca Guadagnino’s remake of Dario Argento’s Italian horror classic is sounding suitably fucked up so far (at least in contrast to artisanal grains). Variety’s description of the event reports that the lunchtime footage included shots of star Dakota Johnson practicing her pirouettes—while, in another room, a fellow dancer “is literally ripped apart, descending into a mess of broken bones, urine, spittle, and blood.” Pass the tarts!

Of course, it’s possible that Guadagnino and company have somewhat missed the point of Argento’s classic; while it’s certainly, inventively violent, Argento’s luridly colored, dream-like masterpiece has always had far more going for it than simple gore. Still, at least we can be assured that Amazon’s take won’t be too tame, which could easily be as lethal here as a big old pile of razor wire. The film is scheduled for a fall 2018 release; be sure to bring your popcorn and snacks!

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