In a series of incidents that threaten to drown the world in an overwhelming tide of relevance, members of Nickelback and Slipknot are currently engaged in a rapidly escalating musical feud. The battle started when Chad Kroeger—who you’d think, given his strict “No Nickelback jokes” public policy, might be a little less quick to open his mouth—took umbrage when an interviewer compared his band to Stone Sour, which is fronted by Slipknot lead singer Corey Taylor.
“They’re okay, but they’re not as good as Nickelback. They sound like Nickelback Lite,” Kroeger said, damning Taylor and company with the scientifically faintest possible amount of praise. Finding himself on a roll, Kroeger continued by mocking the masked rockers of Slipknot itself, saying, “How good can your music be if you’ve got to beat each other up on stage, throw up in your own masks every night?”
At first, Taylor and his crew refused to respond to Kroeger’s barbs, allowing Smash Mouth to fulfill its natural role as an unofficial arbiter for fights between people who were hot in 2004:
But no more: Taylor has fired back on all counts, not only criticizing Kroeger for having a face “like a foot,” but also telling him to “curl up in bed with your Hello Kitty pillow and shut up.” (He also notes that he initially refused to rise to Kroeger’s bait because “He’s not a well-liked person,” the erudite insult you never expected to hear from a member of Slipknot.) Taylor also countered Kroeger’s assertion that he once claimed it was easy to write a hit song, saying, “I don’t know what the hell planet he lives on. Apparently it’s Planet Kroeger. There must be good weed there because he’s an idiot.”
Nickelback defender Avril Levigne has yet to step in to tell Taylor to back off, although, give it a minute. Meanwhile, the members of prop-comedy-pratfall masters The Slipnutz—who, lest we forget, once opened for Slipknot—have also failed to weigh in, although god damn if we can’t live in hope.