Every time something bad happens to bankrupt former mogul Marion "Suge" Knight, the most intimidating man ever to be nicknamed "Suge", Baby Jesus weeps copious tears. Well, expect scattered rain showers throughout this glorious country of ours, because the publishing and catalog of the now bankrupt Death Row has been sold for 25 million dollars to a Tennessee company with the slightly grandiose name Global Music Group. Don't worry, Suge won't seem a dime of this money

What does GMG get for its investment? All of the once legendary, then infamous, now kinda pathetic label's lucrative back catalog as well as 20, count em, 20 unreleased Tupac Shakur albums. Yes, you read that right: a man who died in 1996 and has already released over a bazillion posthumous albums still has twenty more sitting on a shelf. Holy fucking shit. Even for the most prolific dead man in show-business that's kind of astonishing.

Global Music Group's current roster includes two country singers, a studio musician and an alternative band, so if anyone knows how to market Hip Hop, it's these guys. It seems like a fairly wise investment, though. The GMG can probably make its money back just by licensing "Chronic" and "Doggystyle" tracks to teen movies for the next twenty years.

Peep the science

Ah, but how does Sweetie Pie Jonas feel about all of this?