Last night, President Donald Trump gave an address laying out the path the United States will take to manage the coronavirus. Unsurprisingly, the plans he outlined, which include confusingly defined travel bans and laying a bunch of blame on the EU and China for the virus’ spread, weren’t great. As if that wasn’t enough, the words describing these measures were also accompanied by a litany of gross mouth and sinus sounds.
Perhaps hoping to help take our minds off the chaotic enormity of the systemic problems at hand, @schnd tweeted out a more manageable horror for us to grapple with: A clip his daughter (@dyl_seidel) created that turns Trump’s snuffling and gasping into a 36 second supercut.
Over the course of a half minute that feels like weeks, we hear the President exhaling and inhaling repeatedly, occasionally slopping his tongue around his mouth, before finishing his address with a “God bless you” sign off that signals an end to this concentrated dose of aural ipecac syrup. Thankfully, the video omits the snorting and sniffling found elsewhere in the address, which helps mitigate how revolting the whole thing sounds.
It does miss other interesting moments from the speech’s livestream, though, like when audio went live a bit early, letting us hear Trump exclaiming “Ah, fuck” when he realized he had “a pen mark” that could only be solved by applying some “white stuff.”
Another technical problem also gave us a behind the scenes look at what a president does immediately after completing a monumental address. In Trump’s case, it turns out, you relieve a bit of stress by going “Okaaay” in a sing-song voice and undo your suit jacket to relax after a job ... not well done exactly, but done all the same.
Hopefully, having heard all of these clips, the nation will be able to feel more at ease with the current situation. If the president can deliver an important address while the fine bones and cartilage of his head sound like they’re liquefying, the rest of us can make it through, too.
[via Boing Boing]
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