In keeping with the friendly sibling rivalry that characterizes the relationship between our sister sites, The Onion has cast Jeffrey Tambor as the lead in its upcoming Amazon series The Onion Presents: The News, knowing full well that we at The A.V. Club want Tambor to concentrate completely on Arrested Development-related endeavors. “Oh, you want Tambor for another season and a movie of your little dork show?” Onion News Network and Sportsdome producers Will Graham and Dan Mirk asked while sitting on our chests, laughing as they watched our pathetic struggles to free ourselves and Tambor’s schedule.

“Well too bad,” they sneered, explaining in that mocking singsong voice they know we hate that Tambor would instead be playing esteemed anchor David Everett in their behind-the-scenes look at ONN, a character who feels threatened by his younger coworker in an exact reversal of the way The Onion feels about us, because we’re such little pansies. Still, just because Tambor has signed on to the pilot (one of six Amazon recently purchased) doesn’t mean he’ll be too busy to do more Arrested Development, Mom explained as she separated us and told us we should just be happy for The Onion, as behind her back The Onion gave us the finger.