A Perfect Circle has just released a new “music video” set to help this MTV generation of ours open up our minds, question our culture, and really think about what matters most. The track, “So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish,” is taken from the forthcoming Eat the Elephant, which marks the band’s first LP in 14 years, and, if this video is anything to go by, a renewed commitment to providing the soundtrack for every 15 year-old boy’s philosophical awakening.

Adjust your headphones, take a deep breath, and press “play” on a video that promises to make you rethink everything, from celebrity culture to, uh, hiring lawyers and using phone apps. Allow the time-traveling sounds of mid-2000s alt-rock and footage of endlessly swimming dolphins (completing the song title’s nod to Douglas Adams, the thinking man’s favorite author) to settle your mind so it’s prepared to receive the wisdom of Maynard James Keenan lyrics like these:

Time is money and money’s time
We wasted every second dime
On diets, lawyers, shrinks, and apps, and flags, and plastic surgery
Now Willy Wonka, Major Tom, Ali, and Leia have moved on
Signal the final curtain call in all its atomic pageantry

Advertisement

If the biting satire of the opening lines, paired with an ode to dead celebrities and the invocation of nuclear apocalypse, haven’t made you sit up and take notice, keep an eye on those humble, wise dolphins as the chorus arrives, synthetic strings drawing every last ounce of bile from the sage refrain, “Ticker tape parade / Our hair and skin like Marilyn Monroe / In an afterwind.” Jesus, Maynard, leave us something!

According to Consequence Of Sound, he had more to add:

“We all cope with the absurd in our own manner,” Keenan further elaborated in an issued statement. “The Italian side of me produces and shares wine with friends in order to feel grounded and connected in the midst of all the madness. But once the wine is gone, the drunk and sarcastic Irish side of me goes straight for the unreasonable jugular. #comedyfirstandalways”

Advertisement

Even after you’ve wised up, flushing your iPhone down the toilet and canceling your therapy appointments, there’s more to come. Maynard James Keenan has recently claimed that the long-awaited new Tool record is almost finished, creating the very real possibility that 2018 will be the year where we’re finally able to couple A Perfect Circle’s damning indictment of modern culture with some much-needed insight into our hidden chromosomes and the psycho-spiritual potential of regular DMT use or whatever. The horizon’s just ahead of us. Hold on tight and ride the dolphin’s fins to this new step in human evolution, friends.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com