Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

The lesson of Scientifically Accurate Flipper: Stay the hell away from dolphins

Certain A.V. Club readers may be familiar with Flipper, the ’60s knockoff kid’s show that subbed a dolphin in for Lassie’s collie dog. And other A.V. Club readers, specifically those who have been on tropical vacations, may know that dolphins aren’t as cute as they seem on TV. After all, these aquatic mammals are closely related to killer whales, and they’ve been known to gang up and bludgeon sharks to death with their snouts, plus on occasion they’ll sexually assault swimmers and divers.

For those of you who haven’t had to wrestle with reconciling the opposing ends of the dolphin spectrum, Animation Domination has produced Scientifically Accurate Flipper, an animated short that teaches the reality of dolphins, all set to Flipper’s bouncy theme song. If you aren’t bothered by their desire to masturbate using fish or susceptibility to sonar, maybe their despondent dispositions and propensity for gang warfare will be enough to make you give a wide berth to dolphins, nature’s cruelest monster.

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