Stephen Colbert introduced his first Friday guest with descriptive terms like “icon of American cinema,” “a grandmaster of late-night,” and “a singular character,” because what else are you going to say about Jeff Goldblum, really? Goldblum wasn’t on The Late Show to promote anything—he does have a new-ish album of his piano jazz noodling—but just to be Jeff Goldblum, something Colbert marveled at, proclaiming, “I don’t know of anyone who could possibly enjoy being Jeff Goldblum as much as you.” (“Yeah, I like it fine,” Goldblum deadpanned.)
Noting that the last time Goldblum was on The Late Show was—pause for dramatic emphasis—the live show of November 8, 2016—Colbert asked the noted Hillary Clinton booster and noted not-bigot how that whole . . . experience was. “Oh, horrible, horrible, horrible—devastating,” admitted Goldblum before bucking himself and the rest of us up with an extended, rousing, verbatim quotation from George Bernard Shaw that he said inspires him to rise above and carry on. (Seriously, “selfish little clod of ailments and grievances” sums up the public discourse aptly. And the rest of it, well, just read it. Or, better yet, have Jeff Goldblum recite it for you.) After that, it was all jazz lingo, an impromptu duet with bandleader Jon Batiste, tales about Buckaroo Banzai pal and hep cat Peter Weller, speculation about who should play him in the inevitable The Jeff Goldblum Story biopic (Tilda Swinton is the obvious frontrunner), and just Goldblum being Goldblum. You’re welcome.