Because the idea of forcing real children to crawl over the decaying skeletons of long-dead men has timeless appeal, the director of The Goonies has decided to take the experience of watching the film to the next level. According to a new interview with Yahoo! Movies, Richard Donner is helping turn the beloved ’80s movie about tormenting an overweight child into a real-life experience. After disparaging his own film (“I wouldn’t have gone to see The Goonies. That wasn’t my kind of movie. Still not my kind of movie”), the director let slip a piece of information that will no doubt thrill anyone who has longed for an up-close encounter with encephalopathy:
We’re going to do an off-Broadway, do you know what immersion theatre is? Where there’s no seats, the venue is you go into a warehouse and there’s something happening in that warehouse and that’s the play you’ve come to see, only you become part of it and you travel through with actors. It’s very popular now. We’re doing one on The Goonies. It will take another year or so but it’s going to be wonderful.
So basically, he’s proposing taking a giant warehouse, loading it up with young people, and then making them walk through life-threatening booby traps, just like in the film. It’s a great plan for population control, sure, but it might raise some legal liabilities. Presumably, this will be akin to a kid’s version of Sleep No More, the immersive theater experience that is basically the best thing ever—only Donner’s effort will be way more disturbing, because no one in Sleep No More makes you do the Truffle Shuffle. No word on when if or when it‘s set to launch, but we needn’t worry, because people who still care this passionately about a kid’s movie from 30 years ago clearly never say die.