Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

The future is here and it’s a big ugly chair

Screenshot: Altwork 1 Minute Video

Sometime in the last decade, everyone quietly decided that sitting at your desk was the worst thing you could possibly do. The general consensus became that, if you’re spending 40-plus hours a week at the office, it’s not the crippling depression or break-room coffee-based diet that’s going to kill you, it’s your chair. Soon, every obnoxious co-worker with enough gall to care about their own well-being was using a standing desk or one of those big bouncy yoga balls or some other supposedly ergonomic contraption. But after many years of trial and error, we’ve finally reached the end-all, be-all of dumb-looking chairs that purport to increase efficiency.

It’s called the Altwork, it’s $5,900, and it looks dumb as hell.

Whether you’re finishing a report for your next marketing meeting or finally getting your adult braces taken off, the Altwork is the perfect chair for your needs. Users have the option of sitting in it like a normal desk (boring!), collaborating with co-workers (assuming someone wants to visit the lonely corner of the office big enough to fit this monster chair), standing, or kicking their feet up and reclining so they can “focus.” This last position also makes it easier to seamlessly jack into the Matrix.

Screenshot: The Matrix

“So, why hasn’t someone built a workstation like this before?” Altwork CEO Che Voigt asks the viewer, who is no doubt already imaging the various ways they could surreptitiously sleep in this thing after lunch. The answer, it turns out, is, “because it’s really, really hard,” which unfortunately sounds more like an apology than an affirmation of success. But if you’ve got six grand to throw around and you’re tired of regular office chairs holding you back, Altwork has you covered.

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