Star Wars: Episode VII—The Force Awakens

In what we can only assume is payback for giving British accents to all of the villains in Star Wars, the franchise’s official U.K. Facebook page has announced that Star Wars: Episode VII—The Force Awakens will be opening a day earlier in England than in the United States. (This may also be punishment for the way we disobeyed the laws of Target during #ForceFriday.) However, before we Americans grab our muskets and renounce the crown for the second time, this article from the BBC points out that the movie is opening a day earlier in France than it is in England, giving them a full two days to see it before America does. We don’t know what England has ever done to the French that might justify something like this, but they won’t be getting any sympathy from us.

This all means that The Force Awakens will be opening in France on December 16, in England on December 17, and then in the United States on December 18 (as God intended). Now, assuming our friends in England and France really do care about us, they won’t go online and spoil the movie until everyone in America has gotten to see it. People in England and France care about us, right?