Since the first Pirates Of The Caribbean ride opened in Disneyland in 1967, the sinister phrase “dead men tell no tales” has signaled theme-park patrons of their imminent descent into a dark, cool world filled with an excess of pirates being scoundrels in many different scenes with no discernible storyline connecting them. Since his incorporation after the success of the films, that world now includes Johnny Depp’s mumbling Captain Jack Sparrow.
Recently released plot details for Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales signal that the fifth Pirates film, like the four that preceded it, will carry on the inspiration of the source material by including pirates, multiple random plots, and a fancy-hat-wearing Keith Richards animatronic that looks vaguely like Johnny Depp. Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales will include “a down-on-his-luck Captain Jack Sparrow” encountering the dead ghost pirate Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem) after Salazar escapes from the Devil’s Triangle and goes on a killing rampage. “Captain Jack’s only hope of survival lies in seeking out the legendary Trident Of Poseidon, a powerful artifact that bestows upon its possessor total control over the seas,” the description says. Pirates: Arr. MacGuffin: Arr. Otherworldly creatures: Arr. Lots and lots of corpses of dead men unable to tell tales swelling the Bermuda Triangle: Arrrr. (Hopefully.)