The DUFF

As anyone who’s lost friends to the dreadful scourge knows, nothing destroys a human being’s ability to enjoy themselves like the act of procreation. Thankfully, Hollywood is finally addressing this pervasive social malady, with The DUFF director Ari Sandel announcing a new movie about a couple racing to get in a last gasp of fun before the need to spawn completely overwhelms them.

Titled Preconception, the film will center on a pair of thirtysomethings and their struggles to finish their bucket list—a concept that normally describes goals meant to be accomplished before death, but here refers to something much more tragic—i.e., submitting to their biological impulses and having kids. Written by newcomers Jake Morse and Scott Wolman, the film seems like it could be the ideal horror movie for the young and the childless, who might catch a chillingly prophetic screening after getting a beer at a bar, or taking a long, restful nap. Meanwhile, their child-bearing former friends will eventually catch a 40-second glimpse of Preconception between stress dreams on a spawn-laden cross-country flight, perhaps greetings its vision of a child-free utopia with a hollow, broken, “Huh,” before turning back to pull poisonous choking hazards out of their screaming baby’s mouth.