Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

The CIA decides now is a great time for a rebrand

Illustration for article titled The CIA decides inow/i is a great time for a rebrand
Photo: Viorika / Getty Images (Getty Images)

For a multi-billion dollar government organization with the word “Intelligence” in its damn name, one could be forgiven for thinking the CIA possessed a shred of common sense. Of course, if you’ve been paying attention to genuinely anything these past couple days (let alone the past few years), you would then immediately come to the sad, frightening realization that the Central Intelligence Agency, like so many other facets of our bureaucracy, is not only oppressive and dangerous, but also tacky and unoriginal.

On January 1, the CIA tweeted the spycraft equivalent of a “New Year, New Me!” selfie alongside the date “01.04.21" with the hashtags #HappyNewYear and #DiscoverCIA like they were about to drop a damn mixtape. And wouldn’t you know it? The hype and subsequent reveal of a government agency’s middling rebrand did not go over well with anyone except maybe those among us who think the Call of Duty games are a realistic depiction of “modern warfare.”

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The CIA’s new, “sleek” layout might look innovative, modern, and/or cutting edge to a bunch of professional narcs, but it strikes most everyone else as piss-poor timing for the network of agents, assets, and covert operatives actively working to destabilize other countries while ours literally burns.

By the way: a polite reminder that a portion of every single Americans’ taxes paid for this shit.

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Andrew Paul is a contributing writer with work recently featured by NBC Think, GQ, Slate, Rolling Stone, and McSweeney's Internet Tendency. He writes the newsletter, (((Echo Chamber))).

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