The Chinese government is currently very upset with Kenny G, finally giving them something in common with Prince. Those wondering how the human embodiment of rose petals on satin sheets and his leonine thatch of burnished chestnut curls could ever inspire emotions besides sensual abandonment need look no further than Kenny G’s own Twitter account. Earlier today, G tweeted mellow support for the peaceful pro-democracy protests in Hong Kong, which were no doubt lulled into a kitten-like state of contentment by the presence of their tranquil idol:

in Hong Kong at the sight of the demonstration. I wish everyone a peaceful and positive conclusion to this situation

— Kenny G (@officialkennyg) October 22, 2014

This did not sit well with the government in Beijing, which felt compelled to hold a press conference reminding “foreign governments and individuals” to “speak and act cautiously and not support [Hong Kong’s] Occupy Central and other illegal activities in any form,” which is official government-speak for “we are really angry at Kenny G right now, and frankly the fact that we can’t melt the cares of the day away by listening to his smooth adult-contemporary sound is only making things worse.”


For those who don’t know, Kenny G is a huge star in China. The honeyed drippings of his soprano saxophone are immensely popular among the citizenry, which has adopted his song “Closing Time” as the unofficial “get the fuck out” anthem for stores, bars, and other businesses looking to close up shop. Similar, presumed efforts by Semisonic to get Malaysians to embrace its Closing Time” have been unsuccessful.