Come and listen to my story / ’Bout a man named Max

A wealthy Hollywood fella / Struck it rich because he acts

And then one day / He cut a deal with CBS,

For a chain of themed restaurants based on his likeness.

“Jethro” from The Beverly Hillbillies, that is! An exclusive deal, also covering hotels and casinos—Las Vegas tea!

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Well, the next thing you know / Max lost a little more than pride

His new lawsuit says / CBS cut a deal on the side

Says “Jethro’s BBQ in Iowa / is using the character that’s mine!”

So he’s loaded up with lawyers and wants more than just a fine.

For a planned restaurant empire that this Iowa rib joint supposedly undercuts, that is! Baer thinks CBS cut a deal in secret, allowing Jethro’s to use his likeness without his permission!

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Well now it’s time to say / Goodbye to Max’s peaceful times

He would like to think / You folks should be giving him your dimes

To eat at his chain / based on a decades-old show,

But thanks to one little rib joint / It seems we’ll never know.

About Baer’s never-materialized restaurant empire, that is! The lawsuit itself seems much more cut and dried! Either Max had exclusive rights to the character or he didn’t!

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Y’all try and take this seriously, y’hear?