Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

The best quotes from Werner Herzog's new interview with a skateboarding magazine

Illustration for article titled The best quotes from Werner Herzog's new interview with a skateboarding magazine
Photo: John MacDougall/AFP (Getty Images)

Yesterday, the popular skateboard culture site Jenkem published a brief Zoom interview with Werner Herzog. The quick Q&A is barely three-and-a-half minutes long, but because this is Werner Herzog we’re talking about, it manages to somehow address the “mountains of Bavaria,” sexy Russian Orthodox choir music, the nature of human failure, and David Blaine’s inherent untrustworthiness.

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Look, summarizing the clip obviously does it no justice. Instead, the interview is a wonder one must observe firsthand to truly enjoy. Join us after watching it, why don’t you?

See? Would we ever lie to you? We could spend the rest of the day mining this rich, Herzogian ore, but how about a simple highlight of the best quotes from Jenkem’s clip instead? We’re sure Herzog would strongly object to “such a base, statistical distillation of human emotion” (or something), but we’ve long ago given up on trying to add anything to Herzog, and are happy to let the beautiful cosmic entity man speak for himself.

On the subject of being interviewed by a skateboard magazine

“I am puzzled because I am not familiar with the scene of skateboarding. At the same time, I had the feeling that, ‘Yes, that is kind of my people.’”

On the subject of failure

“I see [skateboarders] trying to slide on a metal rail. They do it 25 times and fail. The 26th time, they fail. The 30th...it’s good that you accept failure...finally you land the right jump and go sliding and screeching down a handrail.”

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On the subject of failure, continued

“So many failures. That is astonishing, yes.”

On the subject of David Blaine

“I know that David Blaine shouldn’t be trusted in this kind of quest. It’s this kind of absurd quest, and they are meant only for his own publicity.”

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On the subject of soundtracking skateboarding films

“What comes to mind first and foremost would be Russian Orthodox Church choirs...Something that creates this kind of strange feeling of space and sexuality.”

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On if he’s ever fallen in love with a particular camera

“No.”

Send Great Job, Internet Herzog encounters to gji@theonion.com

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Andrew Paul is a contributing writer with work recently featured by NBC Think, GQ, Slate, Rolling Stone, and McSweeney's Internet Tendency. He writes the newsletter, (((Echo Chamber))).