It was only yesterday afternoon that Ben Shapiro, right-wing political commentator and president of Conservative Lilliputians Of America lobby, held forth on Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s “WAP,” a hilariously frank ode to banging that presumably sent clouds of steam from Shapiro’s ears when he first heard it. In the time since he got on air to read out the lyrics in the nasally whine of a true nerd puritan, he’s followed up on his success by claiming he’s in on the joke and tweeting about how he can’t turn on his wife.
The self-owns are great and all, but, as was clearly going to happen as soon as the indignant reading was done, it’s the many remixes of Shapiro’s audio that really make the most of the whole thing. @TheRareJayCray got to work immediately, sharing a version of “WAP” that gives it the stunted dork flow it was missing before. “Put this p-word right in your face, swipe your nose like a credit card,” Shapiro reads over the beat, careful to censor himself even as he delivers the heat.
There’s more where that came from. Lyle Rath and Elijah Daniel created their own versions, which both add Shapiro explaining that “p-word is female genitalia” as an aside and end with an assurance that “it gets significantly, significantly more vulgar.”
DJ iMarkkeyz added visuals to his remix, throwing in some camera bobbing to enhance the effect.
And, in what’s probably the best of them, @grandayy’s take uses an auto-tuned Shapiro as a sample that goes underneath his robotic verses.
The remixes have reached far enough that one of them, created by Timothy Burke, reached Cardi B herself. Her reaction encapsulates everything about Shapiro’s reading, which is simultaneously a way more “offensive” listen than the actual song and an incredible invitation to mockery.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to firstname.lastname@example.org