Although COVID-19 can affect anyone, some groups are at a higher risk to contract and potentially—how do we say this—um, die from the coronavirus. That includes all your grandmas and grandpas, but don’t worry because ABC is not going to let them get sick without having a chance to find a G.D. soulmate. Your favorite senior person could find real, adorable love with another senior person and avoid falling into the unfortunate “dying alone” trap. All they need to do is audition for The Bachelor’s senior citizen spinoff, which ABC is determined to make happen... eventually. Somehow. Listen, it’s all up in the air (literally—that’s how the germy droplets spread) right now, but according to a new report from Variety, the network is still committed to developing the spinoff.
Rob Mills, the network’s top unscripted executive, explained that getting the upcoming seasons of The Bachelorette and The Bachelor on the air are ABC’s first priority at the moment. The latest installment of The Bachelorette, featuring bachelorette Clare Crawley, was shut down earlier this year, but is resuming production with “pandemic-proof safety restrictions” in an “isolated” location in southern California. Contestants will remain in one location throughout the season, which might actually make for more intense television. We assume fearless Bachelor Nation leader Chris Harrison will be kept in a giant plastic bubble designed to protect the network’s most valuable asset. Mills says The Bachelorette is on track to premiere this fall, with The Bachelor—featuring Matt James, the series’ long-overdue first Black suitor—set to return in early 2021. Next on his to-do list is Bachelor In Paradise, also known colloquially as “The Bachelor: Fuck Island.”
And when all of that is taken care of, Mills says the network will turn its attention to finally helping some nice old people find love. In a safe and “pandemic-proof” environment, we hope.