Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

That's Professor Matthew McConaughey, thank you very much

Illustration for article titled Thats iProfessor /iMatthew McConaughey, thank you very much
Photo: Rodin Eckenroth (Getty Images)

As reported by Austin360, the University Of Texas has appointed famous actor Matthew McConaughey a “professor of practice” at the Moody College Of Communication’s Department Of Radio-Television-Film. That means McConaughey, who is best known for being super fucking chill and having a good time all the time—the one who played a man named Moondog in Harmony Korine’s
The Beach Bum and who is good friends with Guy freakin’ Fieri—is now a gosh darn professor at a university. What have you done with your life? What have any of us done with any of our lives?

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We shower, we eat a health-conscious breakfast, we put on our noose-like neckties and drive to the office in our expensive little personal prisons, honking the horn at people that are going to slow on their journey to a place where nobody wants to be, and then we spend all day in a different little prison, toiling away at pointless little tasks for bosses and supervisors who think of us as nothing more than cattle being herded through the kill machines. The Amazon rainforest is on fire while the head of Amazon the company is the richest person in the history of the world. Humanity is living on borrowed time, and also it’s hard to get that new chicken sandwich everybody likes.

And yet, there’s Professor Matthew McConaughey, teaching the next generation of film students how to make movies. It seems… good. And right. And stylish yet attainable, like a fine automobile from Lincoln. Like we could all be on the brink of the good life—the Matthew McConaughey life—if we just believe we can do it. Stand up from your desk. Take off that necktie. Tell your boss that you’re a human being and that you don’t deserve to be treated like an animal anymore.

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Go live on a boat. Feel the salty ocean breeze in your hair. Move to Texas. Enroll in the film program. Take Matthew McConaughey’s class next semester and learn about how McConaughey made The Gentlemen and Mud, with a special visit from Mud director Jeff Nichols. That shit’s real. That’s what he’s doing in his class this fall, and you could be there too if you reject all of society’s rules and just live for yourself like Professor Matthew McConaughey. And buy a goddamn Lincoln already.

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