The idle threats made by Warner Bros. last year to “reboot the Buffy The Vampire Slayer franchise” without any involvement from Joss Whedon have turned out to be not so idle, as today it was confirmed that, after purchasing the rights from producers Fran and Kaz Kuzui—who nearly killed Buffy before she even got started with their 1992 Kristy Swanson version—Warner Bros. and Atlas Entertainment are embarking on a “re-imagining of Buffy and the world she inhabits” for the big screen.

Coming Soon reports that screenwriter Whit Anderson approached Atlas with “an exciting idea for how to update Buffy” from the moldering, yellowing tomes of the early ‘00s, an idea that has yet to be revealed, but about which Atlas’ Charles Roven says, “While this is not your high school Buffy, she'll be just as witty, tough, and sexy as we all remember her to be.” (Remember? From seven years ago?) She also won’t have any of the lovable characters from the TV show around (those being owned by 20th Century Fox), so not only is it not “your high school Buffy”—it’s not the Buffy you know at all, really. (Unless you're one of those people who spent seven seasons of Buffy going, "Where's Pike??!!")

As Roven puts it, “There is an active fan base eagerly awaiting this character's return to the big screen,” incisively recognizing that said "active fan base" would like to see this character return to the big screen in pretty much any form at all—so long as she’s still witty and sexy—and would definitely not disavow any new Whedon-less iteration. Because it’s not like Joss Whedon’s fan base is particularly loyal, sarcasm sarcasm.


To her credit, Anderson, an avowed Buffy fan herself, recognizes the importance of giving an honorable reach-around to the show while exploiting its popularity, saying in an L.A. Times profile that she plans to “take the touchstones of the Whedon world but frame them in ‘a new story’ that is very much of the moment,” citing Christopher Nolan’s revival of Batman as an inspiration, as so many people attempting to class up their remakes do these days. As such, her new take on Buffy is "relevant to today," for our generation, as opposed to the old Buffy, which didn't even have Twitter and Obama and stuff.