Can you smell something? That’s the desperate stench of Donald Trump’s team trying to find a celebrity who doesn’t sell “Gods, Guns & Trump” shirts willing to play at inauguration events. According to The Wrap, “insiders” say that the team is basically trying to bribe people into participating. “They are willing to pay anything,” one source said. “They told me, ‘We’ll pay their fees.’ Most of these artists’ fees are in the six to seven figures.” Typically, artists aren’t paid beyond travel expenses and crew; that’s because most of the time it’s considered an honor to play at a presidential inauguration, rather than an indication you’re aligning yourself with straight-up Nazis.
Naturally, the Trump team is denying that they hope some respectable celebrity is greedy enough to participate. Committee spokesman Boris Epshteyn said: “No one with any official position at, or official relationship with, the Presidential Inaugural Committee, is engaging in the conduct described. We are focused on organizing an exciting and uniting celebration of freedom and democracy while following all rules, regulations and appropriate standards of conduct.”
The Wrap notes that a source indicated that Trump is in conversation with his old standbys, Ted Nugent and Kid Rock; the latter could probably make some sweet moola by selling his Trump-themed merchandise at the event. Garth Brooks and Lee Greenwood are also apparently in discussions. Brooks’ publicist said, per Reuters: “While rumor has it that he has been asked to perform for President-elect Trump, he has not been able to commit yet.” The inauguration—a.k.a. the Boschian portrait of America’s descent—is set for January 20.