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Ted Cruz has the Facebook Live skills of an ailing grandparent

Photo: Alex Wroblewski (Getty Images)

Ted Cruz is the sad clown painting of American politics, a figure of mocking humor and pity that, ultimately, you just don’t want to look at for very long. Luckily, that wasn’t a problem for viewers of a recent Facebook Live broadcast Cruz attempted to host, in which his campaign staff displayed all the technical mastery of an ailing grandparent who’s never held one of these smartyphone things before.


Cruz was attempting to have a conversation about the recent Kavanaugh hearings or something—we’ll be honest, our brains protectively blast “The Girl From Ipanema” at full volume whenever he opens his mouth—but was forced to constantly interrupt himself to help staffer Emily Miller troubleshoot her phone’s video capabilities. First, the video wouldn’t stop rotating, forcing us all to live in a world where Ted Cruz could be hiding on the walls, waiting to jumpscare us with another goddamn Simpsons reference. Once that was “resolved,” Miller continued to fiddle with the phone, leading to a moment when she reversed the camera, giving us a shot of her instead of Cruz. (Thanks!)

Really, it’s exactly the kind of preparedness, technical no-how, and discretion you want to see from someone campaigning to re-represent one of America’s most populous states, as well as an always-excellent counterpart to his opponent Beto O’Rourke, whose online video game remains aggressively on point.

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