Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Take a look at the Final Fantasy VII remake's updated intro, big-headed versions of classic monsters

Illustration for article titled Take a look at the iFinal Fantasy VII/i remakes updated intro, big-headed versions of classic monsters
Screenshot: Final Fantasy (YouTube)

The long-awaited Final Fantasy VII remake is due out in just a few months, which means its marketing team is currently in the midst of an all-out assault on the nostalgia centers of aging brains across the world. The latest volley is a video showing the game’s introduction—which blew the minds of kids frenzied on Jolt Cola and 3D Doritos back in 1997—recreated with modern fidelity... and, in a bit of a comedown, the release of promo images showing some of Final Fantasy’s iconic monsters looking all sorts of jacked-up.

The opening cutscene has been extended to more fully introduce the futuristic city of Midgar. An eagle flies toward streets bustling with Dickensian slum children and workers (and, because modern audiences deserve the very best, a lovingly modeled stray dog eating out of a trash can) before transitioning into a glossier version of the original 1997 scene that kicks off the game. It all looks very nice, as is to be expected of a big budget video game in 2020, and manages to maintain the tone of the source material without recreating it note-for-note.

That sort of balance is a good sign for the direction of the full game, which is nice since the video’s release comes just a day after the reveal of three promo images that show the unnerving results of the developer taking greater creative liberties.


There’s a baby chocobo that looks like it’s gelled up for a summer at the Shore, a new version of the series’ Carbuncle (not, in Final Fantasy terms, just a skin affliction anymore!) with a distended mutant cranium, and, thankfully, good ol’ Cactaur posing in mid jog as it’s always done.

These images are surprising, but we must accept them as the necessary drawback that comes with re-imagining a classic game for modern times. It’s baby season, after all, and we’ve weathered far worse than fox pups with giant foreheads and baby chickens experimenting with product-encrusted blowouts. And hey, if nothing else, at least we know Final Fantasy VII Remake’s stairs are in safe hands.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com


Contributor, The A.V. Club. Reid's a writer and editor who has appeared at GQ, Playboy, and Paste. He also co-created and writes for videogame sites Bullet Points Monthly and Digital Love Child.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter