In a takedown worthy of McMansion Hell, professor and writer Gabriel Rosenberg has enlightened us all to this real estate listing for a truly bizarre Indianapolis monstrosity. Selling for $1.75 million, the house was apparently owned by an “eccentric millionaire” who must’ve taken notes from Sarah Winchester. As the listing’s copious photos show, the house isn’t garish so much as it is confusing, looking as if a mansion, a dentist’s office, and a cobblestone road were smooshed together by the grubby, Cheetos-dusted hands of some adolescent giant.

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As you can see, the staging of the photos is as funny as the architecture. A cheap swivel office chair sits in the background of an otherwise sumptuous room. A stack of coasters serves as the only source of flair for the dining room. Standing fans lazily spin from the corners. And, despite the house having 10 bedrooms, the rooms themselves have multiple beds that are arranged in ways that make no design sense whatsoever.

Basically, it looks like so much money went into the actual creation of the estate that whoever was living there could only afford to stock it with discount items from Wal-Mart. Speaking of, giant Cookie Monster eyes must’ve been on sale.

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We’d rather live in the clown house.