For those who think you can just create chemistry out of thin air, and that assemblages like the Situation-Bristol Palin-David Hasselhoff cast of Dancing With Stars are some sort of naturally occurring phenomenon, The Hollywood Reporter reveals all the various carbon deposits and gas bubbles that go into forming your reality-show geode with its list of could-have-been contenders. Among the people who turned the show down this season, for various reasons ranging from “I can’t dance” to “I’m too rich to be bothered” to "I have some dignity still": Sylvester Stallone, Ann Coulter, Condoleeza Rice, Erin Brockovich, Richard Branson, Tim Allen, Suzanne Somers, Kirstie Alley, Joel McHale, and Drew Carey. Alas, they dance now only in our minds, in a dream of what might have been. It looks a lot like this.
As for those who made the cut, the article also reports that Bristol Palin “has already been dubbed this season's Kate Gosselin,” in that she’s proving exceedingly difficult to work with and spends most of her time “complaining about the amount of press she has to do.” And while you’re bleeding your heart out for her, save an arterial spurt or two for Melanie Griffith, whom producers say “tries to get on [the show] every season,” only to find herself rejected again and again. Show business is cruel.