Just as the failure of the Keep A Child Alive campaign seemed to be fostering a world where AIDS was allowed to flourish provided it meant Kim Kardashian and Ryan Seacrest were no longer on Twitter, the charity with a heart in the right place and a head up its own ass has finally reached its $1 million goal. So this definitively proves that celebrities have such powerful influence over their fans that they can use that goodwill to direct attention toward worthy causes, right? Well, no, not really: The goal was reached after pharmaceutical executive Stewart Rahr donated $500,000 all by himself, a heroic, tax-deductible save of both thousands of affected children and what one source close to the campaign called the “worst mismanagement of star power I’ve ever seen in my life.” Anyway, Twitter is once again alive with the sounds of Ryan Seacrest talking about muffins.

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