Before Stephen Colbert was Stephen Colbert the character, he was Stephen Colbert, large glasses-ed commercial actor like most of his cohorts at Second City (in some cases minus the glasses). A man's gotta make a living, even if it means shilling for FirsTier banks all over Nebraska by repeating the phrase, "You're first here" over and over again. Thankfully, the commercial recently surfaced on SplitSider, so now we can watch an overly earnest Colbert smile to the camera while saying, "Thought I was gonna say 'Location, location, location,' right?" This is also as good an excuse as any to make a humble plea: No more firsties; from now on, it's firstiers, all the way.