Never one to be outdone by his Papa Bear, Stephen Colbert is auctioning off the microwave he stole from Bill O’Reilly. The move comes after O’Reilly’s announcement that he’d be auctioning off his “one of a kind,” “journalistic,” handwritten and fairly sparse interview notes from the talk he had with President Obama before the Super Bowl. They’re autographed by Obama, of course, but also by the man himself, Bill O’Reilly. Cash-strapped O’Reilly fans can also purchase photocopied versions of the notes for $25, though Fox could also ostensibly just put a PDF of the product online for a donation, and save their interns a lot of time and shoe leather. To be fair, it's admirable that proceeds from the auction will go to Fisher House, a charity that assists military families.
Ever inspired by his idol, Colbert is auctioning off “the most historically important journalistic microwave since 1977’s Defrost/Nixon,” which he says he stole from the Fox News green room back in 2007. Though Colbert’s aware that “6-year-old microwaves go for about $40” on eBay, he figures the fact that O’Reilly has (probably) used the microwave makes it all the more valuable, so he opened bidding on the item at $43. The microwave is signed by Colbert, as well as Bill O’Reilly, “if he signs it.” Colbert said that “other celebrities” could sign it, so there’s also that. Cash-strapped Colbert fans can buy a “Xeroxed copy of an actual iPhone picture of the microwave” for $10, and proceeds from both the auction and the auction-adjacent sales will go to another charity benefiting military families, the Yellow Ribbon Fund.
As of this afternoon, O’Reilly’s notes were going for about $30,000. Colbert’s O’Reilly microwave is going for $85,300.