Yesterday afternoon, President Trump took to the podium for his fourth ever solo press conference since taking office and treated the American public to nearly an hour and half of semi-intelligible rambling and borderline slander. In other words, it was a normal day in America. When things like this happen that are equal parts terrifying, confounding, and entertaining, we must turn to our late-night hosts to make sense of it all. Thankfully, Stephen Colbert managed to break down the bonkers press conference during last night’s show, providing a Cliff’s Notes version of this utter nonsense.
As many people know, late-night talk shows film in the afternoon, meaning Trump was in the middle of his nonsensical address when Colbert took the stage. Still, the Late Show writers were able to put together a suite of clips from the press conference, in which Trump addressed the accusations against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, the numerous accusations against himself, and the possible accusations of impropriety against … George Washington.
“Yeah, he had a couple things. The cherry tree, the fake teeth, and, oh yeah, he owned slaves!” Colbert joked before digging in deeper on Trump’s mishandling of his own history of accusations of sexual assault. While seemingly trying to make a statement about how difficult this situation can be for victims, Trump, once again, took pains to remind everyone within earshot that he’s the real victim. It was, to say the least, a total mess. Still, Colbert tells his audience, “I encourage you to go watch it,” granted they do so with someone they love. We’d recommend the Cliff’s Notes version instead.