As welcome as the decision of pretty much every internet media platform to purge Alex Jones’ putrid breed of “truth-telling” from their systems may be, some people out there are not so thrilled. No, we’re not just talking about Twitter, stalwart protector of the very worst forms of free expression—we’re talking about Stephen Colbert’s own Tuck Buckford.
On last night’s episode of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, the host discussed the news of Jones’ media exile before directing his audience’s attention toward another imperiled program, Brain Fight With Tuck Buckford.
The clip features Colbert in full Infowars mode, clearing out a throat full of frantic messages about the nefarious plots of the dreaded “Canadian yakuza” before addressing his fight for survival against “Silicon Valley snowboys and soyflakes.” Colbert’s Tuck Buckford tells us his show is only able to continue thanks to the support of “Hatorade” (“the knock-off sports drink for athletic klansmen”) and is in need of further help.
He appeals to President Trump to Venmo him a bit of cash and asks his followers to sign up to the Brain Fight Hive Mind, where Buckford will scream his “message into a swarm of angry bees” that then go out to “sting my words directly into your bloodstream.” Though the deep state wants to control these bees, Buckford tells us he can circumvent their efforts and shows exactly how this works by pouring honey on his head so they know he’s their master. The clip ends with Buckford attacked by bees who he assumes Obama must’ve got to first.
Though it’s a pretty straightforward parody of Jones’ particular style of unhinged hucksterism, Colbert’s delivery is as perfect as you’d expect from the man who spent years performing a pitch-perfect, Bush and Obama-era right-wing news parody with The Colbert Report. It’s just too bad we’re probably not going to see any more of Tuck Buckford, whose silence is assured by the interdimensional demonic invaders among us. Unless, that is, he starts a Twitter account.
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