Monday is catch-up day for late-night. Twitter-raging, laughably corrupt white supremacy never sleeps in Donald Trump’s America, and The Late Show’s Stephen Colbert had plenty of weekend administration mendacity, racism, and threats to sue late-night comedy shows to cope with. Luckily there was a lighter side to the parade of propagandists propping up the tottering Trump tower for Colbert to have some fun with. Or, rather, a darker middle flanked by two lighter sides, as the weekend also saw White House advisor, architect of the most overtly bigoted Trump immigration policies, and “man who neighbors will someday describe as ‘quiet guy, kept to himself,’” Stephen Miller, whose Sunday appearance on Face The Nation saw him sporting the sort of amateurishly spayed-on fake hairline that his boss really should have prepared him for. Honestly, for tonsorially tortured Trump, such shoddy workmanship is likely the only thing for which he’s ever scolded the guy who came up with the plan to rip infants from their asylum-seeking parents’ arms.
Equally luckily, Colbert had a ringer on hand for the ensuing bit, as former Colbert Report and Saturday Night Live writer, Veep co-star, and The President Show all-star Peter Grosz took on the role of Miller. An expert at this point in playing Trump administration right-wing bigots whose pursed expression betokens dark, dark thoughts, Grosz’s Miller appeared in a two-shot, answering Colbert’s earnest and searching questions about Trump’s threat to shut down the federal government so he can have his farcically racist Game Of Thrones wall, Miller’s family separation policy, and the even less-likeliness of Trump’s big, beautiful wall dreams with a Democratic House. Well, call it an intermittent two-shot, as every time the shot switched to full-screen Colbert, it returned to see Miller sporting ever more elaborate facial and head hair, all of which appeared to gradually possess the ranting Miller with its follicular will. “The hair makes the man” might indeed be a guiding principle of the White House of a man who sent a scandal-plagued military doctor onstage to lie about his boss’ weight and speculate that his boss may, in fact, live to be 200 years old. But be cautious, because when one looks deep into the high-definition evidence of fragile manhood vainly attempting to shore up its squirmy self-esteem with hair in a can, as the saying goes, hair in a can looks back.