It is with a heavy heart that we must inform you that the Brands are at it yet again. Steak-umm—the sliced meat company that advertises its frozen cow flesh with Twitter musings on generational malaise and post-ironic observations about the corporate social media strategies it employs—has decided to pick a fight with Neil deGrasse Tyson, the scientist who won’t let a series of sexual misconduct allegations interrupt his eternal quest to be the internet’s most annoyingly pedantic troll.
After Tyson tweeted on Sunday that, “The good thing about Science is that it’s true, whether or not you believe in it,” the boxed meat company’s online ambassador quote-tweeted the post with, “log off bro.”
“The irony of neil’s tweet is that by framing science itself as ‘true’ he’s influencing people to be more skeptical of it in a time of unprecedented misinformation,” the Steak-umm account continued (for whatever godforsaken reason). “Science is an ever refining process to find truth, not a dogma. no matter his intent, this message isn’t helpful.” The account then concluded by doing its self-awareness act once again. It preempted criticism by writing, “everything we do is based in self interest to grow our business” and, of course, by adding its life-shortening “steak-umm bless” sign-off.
Tyson has not replied. He’s been too busy, we shit you not, fact-checking the lyrics of The Rolling Stones’ “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.” All the same, Steak-umm has continued baiting him, likely hoping that he’ll offer a retort that will allow them to continue this exchange for several more days, boosting brand engagement all the while.
The company has already dubbed it a “beef for the ages,” and tweeted that it’s “just sick of neil’s games,” and that Tyson “posts ridiculous sound bites like this for clout and he has no respect for epistemology.” Steak-umm also reminded everyone that its account has hated Tyson for a long time, pointing out old tweets in an attempt, presumably, to establish its credentials as historically annoying.
We’d say this whole thing can fuck off into the sun, but then Tyson might chime in to explain the scientific impossibility of such an event and Steak-umm would find an opening to tell us it understands why we feel that way.
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