George Lucas will wring another billion dollars or so out of the Star Wars saga by converting all six films to 3D. The sort-of good news is that his plans to spackle yet another layer of revisions on his past triumphs will be a very slow and deliberate process (no slapdash Clash Of The Titans chicanery here), with each episode taking nearly a year to complete; the bad news is that Lucas plans to release them “in order,” one per year, with The Phantom Menace the first to debut in 2012. That means The Empire Strikes Back won’t be out until around 2016, when it will screen solely in the underground bunkers of the oil-and-potable-water barons, where the THX sound will come in handy drowning out the implorations of starving, feral nomads trying to barter their long-obsolete Special Edition DVDs for a bowl of millet.
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