Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Star Wars: Episode VII gets an official timeline, Marvel crossover prank

While today’s Disney shareholders meeting found CEO Bob Iger offering news of The Incredibles 2 and Cars 3, there was another anxiously awaited/cautiously dreaded sequel on the minds of those in attendance, as investors wondered whether Disney might finally find a way to make some money off of Star Wars. But, like J.J. Abrams and every Internet site who’s just running with it anyway, Iger said it was still far too early to say anything—an increasingly odd admonition, considering Lucasfilm has now confirmed that principal photography will begin May 2014.

That start date means we’re only two months away with no cast members officially announced, besides Iger saying, again, that it would star “R2-D2 as R2-D2,” a joke that gets funnier every single time. But we do now know for sure that Episode VII will be set “about 30 years after the events of Return Of The Jedi, and will star a trio of young leads along with some very familiar faces.” (And again, should you not be sufficiently excited about seeing those very familiar, now much older faces, we direct you to this.)


Finally, in this cold vacuum of space that is Star Wars news, rumors will always rush to fill the void—even when they’re the dubious suggestion, passed along by io9, that Star Wars will feature a Marvel crossover, revealing that R2-D2 and C3P0 were designed by Iron Man’s Tony Stark. While Disney is certainly no stranger to questionable synergy (again, this), and Star Wars has a history of making ludicrously contrived connections when it comes to who created those droids, most saw this particular unlikely Star Wars rumor as especially unlikely.


Nevertheless, the report originated in Boy’s Life magazine, a publication that has long been a reliable source of what to put in your pack for a hike, and has therefore more than earned its journalistic credibility. Unfortunately, it seems it’s now squandered that credibility on an April Fool’s joke, forever throwing into question all of its hiking-related recommendations. Put nothing but shampoo and cocaine in your pack; you can’t trust Boy’s Life anymore.

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