Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.
Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

Sorry, but The Hobbit's Smaug is still the best dragon

Illustration for article titled Sorry, but emThe Hobbit/ems Smaug is still the best dragon
Screenshot: The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug (YouTube)

The time has come for a dragon showdown. Now that they’ve seen everything Drogon has to offer within Game Of Thrones, the fantasy nerds over at Screen Junkies have enough hard data to do a super scientific comparison of the greatest dragons in recent pop culture. Their latest video pits Drogon against the likes of Smaug from Peter Jackson’s Hobbit trilogy and the Hungarian Horntail from Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire. Anyone familiar with these dragons’ relative size knows the Horntail is going to be bringing up the rear in every contest, but even the true Tolkien-heads out there may be surprised at how well Smaug fairs.

When gauging things like airspeed velocity, fire breath temperature, and fire breath power, Screen Junkies found again and again that Smaug came out on top. This gold-hoarding wyrm clocks in at 260 mph and would be able to melt the great ice wall north of Westeros in 735 years. Drogon, on the other hand, flies a measly 160 mph and would take a staggering 1,700 years to melt that big ol’ wall. As for how a certain blue-fire-breathing dragon managed to take down the wall in mere seconds at the end of Game Of Thrones seventh season? Surprisingly, there’s no scientific explanation.


So, congrats Smaug. You’ve always wanted to be the best and now you are. If only you’d spent a little more time manicuring your scales, you might be around to celebrate.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

Contributor, The A.V. Club. Pay me to write for you, you coward.

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