"Sometimes dead is better" spookily intones Fred Gwynne in the kind of shitty yet moderately enjoyable 1989 hit Stephen King adaptation Pet Sematary. The fine folks over at Paramount apparently don't agree, as they've hired 1408 scribe Matthew Greenberg to pen a newfangled version of the fright flick. Questions remain: who has the charisma and raw sexual magnetism to step into the Dale Midkiff role? Gwynne probably won't reprise his role, being dead and all, unless, of course, the producers discover some kind of spooky final resting place on an Indian burial ground that can bring the dead back to life. But at what cost? (cue dramatic music)
In other remake news, the long-gestating Police Academy remake has picked up a tiny bit of momentum with the news that Paul Maslansky, a veteran of the original series, will produce the re-imagining as well. As The Guy From The Police Academy Movies Who Makes Funny Noises With His Mouth might say, (helicopter noise), (laugh track), (lawn mower engine revving), (crazy space gun noise).