An open letter to the wee songwriter who just fooled us on TikTok. (This is the text equivalent of “if you’re not the Teletubby sun baby guy, keep scrolling.”)
Dear Not The Sun Baby,
This is not the first time the youths of TikTok have handed us an unexpected jam. It will not be the last. It may not even be the last time we get an unexpected TikTok jam from someone claiming to be the Teletubbies sun baby. What is certain is that this is the last time that we will be fooled by a TikTok youth claiming to be the Teletubbies sun baby via a song he wrote about being the Teletubbies sun baby. We admit it, youths: you got us this time. Luckily, we know how to google.
In our defense: Nick Green, you rascal—you really made sure to nail the details. The fake articles were actually pretty convincing—that’s exactly the kind of story that would clean up at local news stations—until we googled them. That’s the detail that doomed you, kid. But still, you really had us going for a minute.
And we have to admit, it’s a bit of a bop. We challenge anyone reading this not to have this song stuck in your head in two hours. Try. We dare you. This is like that episode of Evil (now on Netflix, enjoy) where a bunch of choir kids got the same song stuck in their head and it drove them insane, only it’s just us, singing “I’m the Teletubby sun baby” quietly to ourselves and our pets for the next two weeks, minimum.
We’re not kidding, this is catchy as hell. More appropriately, it also strikes the perfect tone. If you let it play on a loop, as it would on the app, it repeats almost seamlessly, like a really chill ambient mix that also happens to have the Teletubbies sun baby singing, “I’m the Teletubby sun baby,” over and over and over again. And that is about as cursed as a startlingly blue-eyed baby staring down at you like a god of chaos. It is the perfect, nay the only, Teletubbies-centric song to capture the wild, unadulterated strangeness of that particular moment in our collective pop-cultural consciousness.
In short: good tune, cursed image. The fact that it was all a fraud, a deception, a cheap trick intended to bamboozle only makes it more appropriately weird. And here’s what’s best of all, Nick Green: Yours is not even the first Teletubbies sun baby identity scandal. Meet Jessica Smith, the original Teletubbies sun baby. According to both USA Today and the Teletubbies wiki—perhaps you’ll be featured there soon, you scamp—a photo of Smith with the sun baby for the Teletubbies reboot led to a mistaken assumption that the original Teletubbies sun baby had a baby of her own, and that said baby would inherit the sun baby title from her mother, the once and former Teletubbies sun baby. Not so, in fact—it’s a little girl called Berry and not, in fact, a young whippersnapper on TikTok.
Nor is your roommate the guy in the Barney suit. Is he even your roommate? We don’t know what to think anymore.
But hey, this “apology” video full of “very true facts” seems both legitimate and sincere.
Sorry you lost that job to Jessica Smith in 1997, young sir—wait, fuck, he got us again, didn’t he?
Good job. Most sincerely,
The A.V. Club.
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